A Day in Menopause · A Hormonal Comedy by Nurit Rozenblat
Chapter Ten: 15:47 — Don't Touch Me, I Just Moisturized!
At 15:47 Dana stood in front of the bathroom mirror and discovered that her skin had decided to behave like baking paper.
She ran a finger over her cheek.
Dry.
Over her forehead.
Dry.
Over her shin.
There the situation already resembled land that hadn't seen rain since Passover.
She looked at the bottle of moisturizer on the shelf.
"We need to talk."
To the cream? asked the inner voice.
"Yes. I've been using it for years, and suddenly it isn't doing the job."
Maybe the job has changed.
Dana raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
During the transition to menopause, the drop in estrogen can affect collagen production, the thickness of the skin, and its ability to retain moisture. The skin may feel drier, less elastic, and sometimes itchy too.
"I know. But why everything all at once?"
The changes didn't necessarily start today. Today you simply noticed them all.
"Wonderful. My body is undergoing a renovation, and I'm the last one who got the plans."
She opened the bathroom cabinet.
Three face creams.
Two serums.
Body oil.
Body lotion.
A moisturizing mask.
Hand cream.
Foot cream.
A cream she didn't remember why she had bought, but its packaging was too pretty to throw away.
Dana surveyed the shelf.
"I need something richer."
Better a cream without strong fragrance, with ingredients that help maintain the skin barrier, such as glycerin, ceramides, or hyaluronic acid. Apply it after a shower while the skin is still slightly damp, and prefer lukewarm water over long, hot showers.
"You're telling me all the things I already know."
True. But you keep showering in water at a temperature suited for cooking pasta.
Dana closed the cabinet.
"That's the only temperature at which I can think."
At 15:55 the doorbell rang.
Dana had just finished applying body cream to her legs.
She wore shorts, an old shirt, and her hair gathered in a clip.
"Eyal! Get the door!"
"I'm in the shower!"
The bell rang again.
Dana sighed.
She went to the door and opened it.
In front of her stood Michal and her husband Roi, their longtime friends.
Michal held a bakery bag.
"Surprise!"
Dana looked at them.
"Michal!"
She smiled a broad smile.
"What are you doing here?"
Michal hugged her.
Dana froze.
The cream.
She had forgotten about the cream.
Michal pulled back a little and looked at her shirt.
"What is that?"
Dana looked.
A large oily stain adorned Michal's shirt.
Dana closed her eyes.
"I'm so sorry."
Michal examined the stain.
"What did you put on yourself?"
"Body cream."
"How much?"
Dana thought for a moment.
"Apparently enough for both of us."
Michal burst out laughing.
Roi came closer to hug Dana.
She raised a hand quickly.
"No!"
Roi stopped.
"What?"
"Don't touch me."
He looked at Michal.
Michal looked at Dana.
Dana added:
"I'm still absorbing."
Roi nodded slowly.
"Ah."
He turned to Michal.
"I don't know what that means, but I think we should go in before she starts dripping."
In the living room Michal put the bag on the table.
"We brought an almond cake."
"You're lovely," Dana said. "Sit down. I'll bring plates."
Roi sat down on the sofa.
Immediately a small noise was heard.
He straightened up.
He lifted the remote.
"Found this."
Dana looked at the remote.
The remote.
The one that had lain on the floor.
The one she and Eyal had refused to pick up.
It was now in Roi's hand.
Dana smiled.
"Thank you."
Roi looked at her.
"What?"
"Nothing. You just solved a family problem."
Michal laughed.
"We've been here two minutes and we're already useful."
Dana took the remote and placed it on the table, at a height reachable without negotiating with her knees.
Eyal came out of the bedroom.
"Michal! Roi! How wonderful!"
He hugged them both.
Michal pointed at her shirt.
"I recommend you don't hug your wife for the next twenty minutes."
Eyal looked at Dana.
"What did you do?"
"I applied cream."
"On what?"
"On myself, Eyal. That's usually the purpose."
Roi smiled.
"With us, Michal applies cream before bed. I get into bed and feel as if I married a salmon."
Michal turned to him.
"Excuse me?"
"Not in a bad way. Salmon is healthy."
Dana burst out laughing.
Eyal sat down beside Roi.
"You know, sometimes it's better to stop after the first sentence."
Roi nodded.
"I've been learning that for twenty-eight years."
At 16:08 the four of them sat around the dining table.
Michal cut the cake.
Dana brought tea.
Roi told them about a family dinner they had attended the previous week.
"And then my sister decided she wanted us to take a family photo."
Michal rolled her eyes.
"Don't start."
"What? I'm telling."
"He's been telling this for a week."
Roi ignored her.
"We all stood in the garden, twenty-three people, including the kids. And my father decided he had to be in the middle."
"How old is your father?" Dana asked.
"Eighty-four."
"Well, then he deserves it."
"Of course he deserves it. The problem is he wanted to stand in the middle on a chair."
Eyal laughed.
"What?"
"Yes. Because according to him, in family photos everyone hides him."
Michal shook her head.
"And then he climbed onto a plastic chair."
Dana's eyes opened wide.
"No!"
"Yes," Roi said. "And my mother started shouting at him to get down."
"And did he get down?" Dana asked.
"No. He said that if he'd already reached the age of eighty-four, at least they should see him in the photo."
Everyone laughed.
Roi continued:
"So the photographer said to him, 'Sir, please stand up straight.'"
Michal covered her face.
"Oh God."
"And my father answered him, 'At my age, straight is a recommendation, not an instruction.'"
Dana laughed out loud.
She loved Roi's father.
A small, stubborn man, with the self-confidence of a head of state.
"And what happened in the end?" she asked.
Roi smiled.
"We took the photo."
"And he stayed on the chair?"
"Yes."
"So what's the problem?"
"He's the only one who came out in the photo."
Dana burst into laughter.
"What do you mean?"
"The photographer concentrated so hard on making sure he didn't fall, that he zoomed in on him."
Michal took out her phone.
"Wait, I'll show you."
In the photo you could see an elderly man standing on a plastic chair, smiling a victorious smile, and behind him twenty-two people, parts of whose bodies had entered the frame.
Dana couldn't stop laughing.
"That's the most beautiful thing I've seen today!"
Roi nodded.
"My mother has already printed the photo."
"Really?"
"Yes. My father asked to enlarge it."
Dana felt a small tingle in her arm.
She scratched.
And then another one, around her neck.
She tried to ignore it.
Michal noticed.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. My skin is itchy today."
"It happens to me sometimes too," Michal said. "Especially after a shower."
Dana nodded.
"I think my skin has decided it is no longer willing to work without a moisture supplement."
Roi raised his head.
"Do you know what's good for dryness?"
The three of them looked at him.
Michal said immediately:
"Roi, no."
"What?"
"No."
"But I know!"
Dana smiled.
"What is good for dryness, Roi?"
"Olive oil."
Michal closed her eyes.
Eyal smiled.
Roi continued confidently.
"I'm telling you. Natural. Excellent. You apply it and that's it."
Dana looked at him.
"On the face?"
"On everything."
Michal put down her fork.
"Roi, you can't recommend that people apply things to their bodies just because they're in the kitchen."
"Why not?"
"Because the last time you told me to put coconut oil on my hair, I had to wash it four times."
Roi nodded.
"But it was shiny."
"It was shiny because you could have fried an egg on it!"
Dana burst out laughing.
Roi turned to Eyal.
"Say something."
Eyal raised his hands.
"I'm not getting into this. An hour ago my wife explained the skin barrier to me."
Roi looked at him.
"Barrier?"
"Yes."
"Like at a border?"
Eyal nodded seriously.
"Exactly. And there are security problems."
Dana looked at both of them.
"I'm sitting here, by the way."
Roi smiled.
"So what do you do when the barrier is breached?"
Dana sipped her tea.
"You don't call in the olive oil."
At 16:21 Michal and Dana went out to the balcony.
The men stayed in the living room, deep in a discussion about cars.
Michal sat down beside Dana.
"Tell me, do you really feel your skin has changed?"
"Yes. Not just today. Lately it feels drier."
Michal nodded.
"Mine too. And I don't understand how you can be so dry in the face and sweat so much at night."
Dana looked at her.
And then they both burst out laughing.
"Right!" Dana said. "How is that logical?"
Michal leaned back.
"I'm telling you, our body isn't coordinated with itself."
Dana smiled.
"It works like a building committee. Every organ makes a decision separately and nobody updates the rest."
Michal laughed.
"And the brain?"
"The brain resigned."
"And sleep?"
"On unpaid vacation."
"And the husband?"
Dana looked through the glass door.
Eyal and Roi sat on the sofa arguing about something on the phone.
"The husband still thinks he's the manager."
Michal burst into laughter.
"Do you know what's funniest?" Michal asked. "That we're so busy hiding all these things."
Dana nodded.
"True."
"And then you talk to a friend and discover she's going through exactly the same thing."
Dana looked at her.
"I think we need to talk about it more."
Michal smiled.
"Without being ashamed."
"And without every conversation ending with a recommendation for olive oil."
They both laughed.
By the way, Dana, the inner voice intervened, dry skin doesn't mean you need to apply as many products as possible.
"I know."
Sometimes an excess of products, fragrance, or frequent exfoliation can actually irritate skin that is already sensitive. Gentle cleansing, a suitable moisturizer, and sun protection are preferable.
"True."
And also remember that moisture for the skin doesn't replace drinking enough water, and vice versa. Drinking is important for the body, but it doesn't always solve dryness that comes from damage to the skin barrier.
Dana looked at the glass of water on the table.
"Meaning, you have to treat it from inside and outside."
Exactly.
"And not shower in boiling water."
Exactly.
Dana sighed.
"You're really determined to ruin my showers."
At 16:34 Michal and Dana returned to the living room.
Eyal and Roi were still arguing.
"I'm telling you it's impossible," Eyal said.
"And I'm telling you it is," Roi answered.
Dana looked at them.
"What are you arguing about?"
Eyal raised his head.
"Whether a car can park itself without touching the steering wheel."
Dana looked at Michal.
Michal looked at Dana.
"We talked about hormonal changes, about our skin and our bodies," Dana said.
Michal nodded.
"And they're talking about a car that parks itself."
Roi smiled.
"That's important too."
Dana sat down.
"Of course. Especially if the car can also pick the remote up off the floor."
Eyal burst out laughing.
Roi looked confused.
"What remote?"
"A long story," Eyal said.
Michal got up.
"Well, we need to get going."
Dana stood up and hugged her.
This time the cream had already been absorbed.
Michal smiled.
"Ah, now you can be hugged."
"Yes. The waiting period is over."
Roi came closer.
Dana held out a hand to him.
He looked at her.
"What, I don't get a hug?"
Dana smiled.
"You do."
She hugged him.
Roi stepped back and smelled his shirt.
"Wait."
Michal turned around.
"What?"
"I smell good."
Dana smiled.
"That's the cream."
Roi looked at Michal.
"See? I told you oil is a good thing."
Michal closed her eyes.
"Roi, that's not olive oil."
"I know. But the principle is similar."
Dana looked at Eyal.
Eyal looked at her.
They both decided not to intervene.
At 16:42 the door closed.
Dana went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa.
Eyal sat down beside her.
"It was nice that they came."
"Very."
"Do you feel better?"
"Yes."
"Your skin too?"
Dana ran a hand over her arm.
"Definitely."
Eyal smiled.
"Good."
He moved closer to her and put his head on her shoulder.
Dana stroked his hair.
After a moment he raised his head.
"Tell me…"
"What?"
"Which cream did you use?"
Dana smiled.
"Why?"
"No reason."
"Eyal."
"What?"
"Do you want to use it?"
He was silent for a moment.
"No."
Dana looked at him.
"Then why did you ask?"
He smiled bashfully.
"Because Roi sent me a message."
Dana raised an eyebrow.
"What does he want?"
Eyal showed her the screen.
Roi: Bro, ask Dana what that cream is called. Michal says I need to start taking care of myself.
Dana burst out laughing.
Eyal kept reading.
Roi: And if possible, ask if it comes in steak scent.
Dana laughed so hard she had to put her head on the sofa.
"Eyal, I can't!"
He smiled.
"What should I answer him?"
Dana thought for a moment.
And then said:
"Write to him that it does."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Which cream?"
Dana smiled a mischievous smile.
"Tell him to look in the marinades department."
Eyal burst out laughing.
He typed the message and sent it.
Ten seconds later a reply arrived.
Roi: I knew olive oil was the solution.
Dana looked at the screen.
And then at Eyal.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I'm starting to understand why Michal needs such a rich cream."
"Why?"
"Because living with Roi must be drying."
The time was 16:49.
Dana discovered her skin needed a little more attention than before.
Michal discovered she wasn't the only one dealing with changes in her body.
Roi discovered the world of cosmetics.
And Eyal discovered that you can spend a whole afternoon with friends without talking about anything truly important — except cars, creams, and olive oil.
A few minutes later Dana's phone beeped.
A message from Michal:
"Listen, Roi is standing in the kitchen applying olive oil to his elbows. If he starts seasoning himself with salt and pepper, I'm calling you."
Dana showed Eyal the message.
He read it and burst out laughing.
"What are you answering her?"
Dana typed:
"Tell him not to go out in the sun. All he needs is to think he's an antipasto."
She pressed send.
And then looked at Eyal.
"Do you know what's best about this age?"
"What?"
"That we already have enough experience to know that not every problem requires a solution."
Eyal nodded.
"True."
"Sometimes it's enough to just laugh about it."
He smiled.
"And sometimes?"
Dana looked at the new message from Michal.
"Too late. He asked if he needs to preheat an oven."
Dana leaned back.
"And sometimes you just need to keep the husband away from the kitchen."
End of Chapter Ten.
Continued in Chapter Eleven: 17:06 — Quiet, I'm Trying Not to Kill Anyone
© 2026 Nurit Rozenblat. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or distributed without the author's prior written permission.
