Self-Love Is Not a Slogan. It Is the Way We Choose to Live

In recent years the expression "self-love" has appeared almost everywhere. On social media, on T-shirts, in books, and in inspirational quotes.

It is used so much that sometimes it seems to have lost a little of its meaning.

But in my eyes, self-love is much more than a pretty phrase or the ability to stand in front of the mirror and tell ourselves that we are beautiful.

It is found precisely in the small decisions we make every day, sometimes without even noticing.

And those decisions tell us quite a lot about the place we give ourselves in our lives.

How much room do we really give ourselves?

Think for a moment about your day.

What did you choose to eat? Did you stop to rest when you were tired, or did you keep going until you had no strength left?

Did you agree to something you did not really want to do, just so as not to disappoint someone else?

Did you dedicate time to your health, to physical activity, to skincare, or even to a few minutes of quiet?

These look like simple, everyday decisions, but behind some of them hides a deeper question: how much do we value our own needs as well?

Many women are used to taking care of everyone else first. The children, the partner, the parents, the work, and the home.

And sometimes, after we have taken care of the whole world, we discover that no time or strength is left for ourselves.

I do not think self-love means always putting ourselves first.

But I definitely believe it begins at the moment we stop putting ourselves, constantly, in last place.

What does self-love look like in everyday life?

It is not always about a spa day, a vacation, or buying something new.

Sometimes self-love is precisely the simplest things.

Knowing how to say no when something does not suit us, without feeling we must explain and apologize.

Choosing to eat food that nourishes our body, not out of fear of gaining weight, but out of a desire to feel good and maintain our health.

Going to sleep on time, even when there are more things that could still be done.

Keeping the small promises we make to ourselves, like going for a walk, drinking enough water, or dedicating a few minutes to skincare.

And above all, paying attention to the way we talk to ourselves.

Because sometimes we say things to ourselves that we would not dare say to a good friend.

We criticize our appearance, our body, the decisions we made, and the things we did not get to.

But if we heard another woman speak this way to someone we love, we would most likely ask her to be a little gentler.

So why do we allow it toward ourselves?

Self-love is not selfishness

I think this is one of the most important distinctions.

Loving ourselves does not mean thinking we are better than others, and it does not mean ignoring the needs of the people around us.

It simply means recognizing that we too have needs, feelings, desires, and boundaries that deserve regard.

When we love someone, we want them to be well.

We make sure they eat, rest, are healthy, feel appreciated, and are not treated with disrespect.

Self-love is the ability to give ourselves that same attention.

Not more than others, but also not less.

And what does psychology say?

The psychologist and researcher Kristin Neff, who has spent many years researching self-compassion, found in her studies — and in additional research in the field — a connection between a compassionate attitude toward ourselves and mental well-being and emotional resilience.

Self-compassion does not mean letting ourselves off the hook for everything or ignoring mistakes.

On the contrary. It allows us to acknowledge difficulties and failures without turning them into proof that we are not good enough.

We can take responsibility, learn, improve, and set goals for ourselves, also without punishing ourselves along the way.

I connect very much with this approach.

I have never believed we need to hate our body in order to want to improve our health or our physical fitness.

We can want to get stronger, lose weight, improve the appearance of our skin, or change habits, and at the same time love ourselves exactly as we are today.

In my eyes, that is a much healthier starting point.

Skincare is also an expression of self-love

I know there are those who see skincare as a purely external matter.

But for me, skincare is much more than appearance.

When I dedicate a few minutes in the morning to cleansing my face, applying serum and moisturizer, I do not do it only to look better.

I do it also because I enjoy the feeling that I am taking care of myself.

The same is true for physical activity, preparing a good meal, sufficient sleep, or going for a walk in the open air.

These are small moments in which we give ourselves attention.

Of course, if one evening we were too tired and skipped the skincare routine, it does not mean we do not love ourselves.

Self-love is not measured by perfection, and it certainly does not need to become another to-do list we feel guilty about when we did not keep up with it.

It is measured by our general attitude toward ourselves, over time.

Self-love does not depend on age or appearance

Over the years we change.

The body changes, the face changes, priorities change, and the way we look at life changes too.

I believe one of the beautiful things about growing older is the opportunity to know ourselves better.

To understand what truly matters to us, what does us good, what we are no longer willing to compromise on, and what we can simply let go of.

We do not need to look the way we looked twenty years ago in order to feel beautiful.

We also do not need approval from others in order to feel worthy of love and appreciation.

Our worth is not determined by the number of wrinkles, our weight, our age, or someone else's opinion.

And the more we understand this, the more we can feel free to be who we are.

Self-love is a choice we return to every day

I do not think there is a single moment when we learn to love ourselves and from that day everything is perfect.

There are days when we feel wonderful, and days when we are less pleased with ourselves.

There are busy periods, moments of insecurity, and decisions we regret.

And that is natural.

Self-love is not the demand to feel wonderful at every moment.

It is the ability to continue treating ourselves with respect also on the days when we are less pleased.

To listen to our needs, to guard our boundaries, to take care of our body, and not to forget that we matter too.

So next time you stand before a decision, small or large, try to ask yourselves a simple question:

What about me?

Not out of selfishness, and not at the expense of someone else.

Simply out of the understanding that you too are among the people who deserve your love, your care, and your attention.

Because in the end, self-love is not what we say to ourselves in front of the mirror.

It is the way we treat ourselves even when no one else is watching.

With love,
Nurit
OrOrgani

With love,
Nurit Rozenblat
OrOrgani

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