A Day in Menopause · A Hormonal Comedy by Nurit Rozenblat
Chapter Seven: 12:36 — Don't Make Me Laugh, This Is Not the Time!
At 12:36 Dana and Eyal were still walking around the shopping mall.
Dana was in an excellent mood.
She had already managed to forget who Ronit was, discover she had promised to take part in an improv evening, and decide that maybe it was her time to go on stage.
Eyal, for his part, had already begun planning whom he would tell that his wife had become an actress.
"I think we should invite the kids," he said.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I want to still have a family after the performance too."
"And my mother?"
"Absolutely not."
"She'll be excited."
"I know. She'll also film."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Eyal, the last time she filmed me she held the phone upside down for four minutes, and in the end sent everyone a video of her shoes."
Eyal started laughing.
"Right! She really did that!"
"And then she asked why I don't appear in the video."
They both burst out laughing.
Dana laughed so hard she had to stop.
And then it happened.
Something small.
Sudden.
Unexpected.
Dana stopped laughing all at once.
She froze.
Eyal was still laughing.
"What happened?"
Dana looked at him.
"Don't make me laugh."
He smiled.
"Why?"
"Eyal. I'm serious."
"What did I even say?"
She crossed her legs.
Tightly.
Eyal looked down.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"You're standing strangely."
"I'm concentrating."
"On what?"
"On staying dry."
Eyal stopped smiling.
"Ah."
Dana closed her eyes.
No. No. No. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
It was a small urine leak.
"I know what it was!"
Eyal looked at her.
"What?"
"I wasn't talking to you."
"Ah."
He was silent for a moment.
"Do you want to go to the bathroom?"
Dana looked at him.
"No, Eyal. I want to stand here another twenty minutes and see if it develops."
He nodded.
"There are restrooms on the second floor."
Dana turned to him slowly.
"You know where the restrooms are?"
"Yes."
"And you're waiting for me to ask?"
"I thought you knew."
"Eyal, if I knew, I wouldn't be standing here with my legs crossed like a flamingo!"
He tried not to laugh.
He really tried.
But the word "flamingo" was too much for him.
He let out a small laugh.
Dana pointed at him.
"Don't."
He closed his mouth.
"I'm not."
"I can see you laughing inside."
"I can laugh inside."
"You can. I can't!"
At 12:40 they reached the restrooms.
Dana went in quickly, and Eyal stayed outside.
Luckily, the leak was small. No visible disaster had occurred, but the very fact that it happened surprised her.
She looked at herself in the mirror.
"I can't believe it."
Actually, that is a fairly familiar symptom.
"That too?"
Stress urinary leakage. It can happen while laughing, coughing, sneezing, jumping, or lifting weight, when the pressure inside the abdomen rises and the pelvic floor muscles and the urethra's closing mechanism fail to prevent the leak completely.
Dana leaned on the sink.
"So now I'm not allowed to laugh?"
Absolutely not. The goal is to strengthen the support for the bladder, not to give up humor.
"Good. Because if I have to choose between laughing and staying dry, I at least want to know the terms."
During the transition to menopause, changes in the tissues under the influence of the drop in estrogen may contribute to symptoms in the urinary system. Childbirth, age, load on the pelvic floor, and other factors can also have an effect.
"So what does one do?"
First of all, correct training of the pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles that help support the bladder and control urination.
"Kegel exercises?"
Exactly. Gently contract the muscles you would use to stop the passage of gas or urine, without contracting the buttocks, thighs, or abdomen, and without holding your breath. Hold for a few seconds, release completely, and repeat. Over time you can lengthen the contraction according to your ability.
"And how long until it helps?"
Improvement may appear after a few weeks, but usually you need to persist for about three months to assess the effect. It's also important to know how to relax between contractions. If you're not sure you're activating the right muscles, a pelvic floor physiotherapist can teach it.
Dana thought for a moment.
"Can I do it now?"
Yes. Nobody needs to know.
Dana looked at the woman standing beside her, washing her hands.
The woman smiled at her politely.
Dana smiled back.
You see? A completely discreet exercise.
"That is actually nice," she thought.
Just don't get into the habit of training regularly by stopping the urine stream in the bathroom. That is not the recommended way to train.
Dana nodded to herself.
"And what else?"
You can practice a quick pelvic floor contraction right before a cough, sneeze, or lift — and hold it during the effort. In addition, it's worth treating constipation, avoiding unnecessary straining in the bathroom, keeping up physical activity, and reducing caffeine if it worsens frequency or urgency in urination. You shouldn't reduce drinking drastically.
"Meaning, I need to train a muscle nobody sees."
Right.
"And nobody knows if I'm doing it."
Right.
Dana smiled.
"Finally, a sport you can do without buying new clothes."
At 12:49 Dana came out of the restrooms.
Eyal waited by a clothing store.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes."
"Sure?"
"Yes, Eyal."
He smiled.
"Excellent."
Dana looked at him.
"I want to tell you something."
"Okay."
"It's connected to the pelvic floor."
Eyal looked down.
Dana followed his gaze.
"Not that floor."
"I know."
"Then why did you look down?"
"Because you said floor."
Dana laughed.
And then stopped immediately.
"No! Wait!"
Eyal raised his hands.
"I didn't do anything!"
Dana took a deep breath.
Contracted her pelvic floor muscles.
Released.
Smiled to herself.
Eyal examined her.
"What are you doing?"
"Training."
"On what?"
"On my control."
"Nice. In which field?"
"In the bladder."
Eyal nodded.
"Ah."
Dana smiled.
"I'm doing Kegel exercises right now."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"In the middle of the shopping mall?"
"Yes."
Eyal looked around.
"And people can't see?"
Dana burst out laughing.
"Eyal, which part of the body exactly do you think I'm moving?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking."
"Nothing can be seen."
He thought for a moment.
"That sounds like a sport suited to me."
Dana looked at him.
"Men have a pelvic floor too, for your information."
"Really?"
"Really."
Eyal straightened up.
"So I can do it too?"
"Of course."
He was silent.
Dana looked at him.
"What?"
"I'm trying."
"Now?"
"Yes."
He stood in front of her with an extraordinarily serious face.
Dana watched him.
"Eyal, why are you holding your breath?"
He exhaled all at once.
"Because I don't know what I'm contracting!"
Dana exploded with laughter.
He started laughing with her.
"Forget it," she said between laughs. "I'll find you a tutorial video."
"No need. I think I succeeded."
"What did you contract?"
Eyal thought for a moment.
"My jaw."
Dana leaned on the wall with laughter.
"Eyal! The jaw is not connected to the bladder!"
"I know! But it's the only muscle that agreed to cooperate!"
At 13:02 they sat down in a café.
Dana ordered water, and Eyal ordered coffee.
He looked at her across the table.
"Tell me, are you still doing the exercises?"
"Not right now."
"Ah."
"Why?"
"Because for five minutes you've been sitting with the face of someone trying to open a jar without hands."
Dana burst out laughing.
"Eyal!"
"What?"
"I'm not making a face!"
"Ah, sorry. So that's your regular face?"
She threw a napkin at him.
He caught it in the air.
"Nice! The reflexes work too!"
Dana wiped her eyes.
"Oh, stop. You'll kill me today."
Eyal smiled.
"I'm just happy you went back to laughing."
Dana looked at him.
That sentence was so simple, and so sweet, that she almost forgot to be angry at him.
"Me too."
She took a sip of the water.
"Do you know what's strangest?"
"What?"
"That almost nobody talks about urine leaks. As if it were some kind of shame."
Eyal nodded.
"Right."
"And in the end it happens to so many women."
"To men too, by the way."
Dana smiled.
"Right. But today we're talking about me."
"Of course."
"And I don't intend to stop laughing because of it."
"Good."
"I'll simply start strengthening the muscles."
"Excellent."
"And you can join me."
Eyal looked at her.
"Why?"
"Because it won't hurt you either."
He thought for a moment.
"I have an idea."
"What?"
"We'll make it a competition."
"What competition?"
"Who can hold a contraction longer."
Dana looked at him.
"Eyal, you don't even know which muscle to contract."
"True, but I'm competitive."
She laughed.
"And what's the prize?"
"Whoever loses does the laundry."
Dana smiled a wide smile.
"Deal."
Eyal stopped.
"Wait."
"What?"
"How do we check who won?"
Dana looked at him quietly.
He looked at her.
After a few seconds Eyal said:
"I don't think I thought this through to the end."
Dana leaned back.
"That's fine, my love. I already know who'll be doing the laundry."
At 13:14 they got up from the table.
Dana felt better.
Not because the symptom had disappeared, but because she understood there was something she could do to improve the situation.
She decided to start a regular daily practice, without turning it into a national project.
Remember, Dana, the pelvic floor also needs to know how to release. You don't contract all day, and not every problem is solved by more and more contractions.
"I know. Work and rest."
Exactly.
"And also not to run to the bathroom every five minutes just in case?"
Right. Emptying too often without a need can reinforce unhelpful habits in some people. It's better to listen to a real need and not to hold in by force either.
Dana nodded.
"I'm beginning to think my body is a business that requires a full-time manager."
At least you have management experience.
"Yes, but in my business the employees take instructions."
And the body?
"My body is unionized."
She smiled to herself.
Eyal, who walked beside her, looked at her.
"What are you smiling about?"
"About life."
"Nice."
He held out a hand to her.
Dana took it.
And then Eyal said:
"Tell me, do you know what I thought?"
"What?"
"That if we're already doing pelvic floor exercises, maybe we should buy new yoga mats."
Dana stopped.
Looked at him.
"Eyal."
"What?"
"You don't need a mat for Kegels."
He thought for a moment.
"Then why is it called a floor?"
Dana doubled over with laughter.
"Eyal, please!"
He smiled an innocent smile.
"What did I do?"
"I'm begging you, don't make me laugh now!"
He raised his hands.
"Okay. I'm silent."
They kept walking.
After a few seconds Eyal whispered:
"But if you want, I also have a proposal for renovating the ceiling."
Dana stopped.
Crossed her legs.
Looked at him.
"Eyal!"
He had already run two steps ahead, laughing.
The time was 13:18.
Dana learned three important things today:
The pelvic floor muscles need training.
Laughter is not something you need to give up.
And a husband who makes you laugh in the middle of Kegel exercises may be the best thing for a marriage —
But definitely not the best thing for your underwear.
End of Chapter Seven.
Continued in Chapter Eight: 13:32 — My Heart Is Pounding. And It Has Complaints.
© 2026 Nurit Rozenblat. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or distributed without the author's prior written permission.
